6th June 2016

Second half of the year has already started and I am looking forward to welcome anything or everything that has been destined for me. Truth be told, I am quite scared to think of what else is there for me. Honestly, the first half of this year, in term of academic year was not as good as I planned which make me nervous each time I think about it T_T  On the other side, I feel like I have been spending good quality time with my loved ones and care for them as much as I could and no regret at all on behalf of myself. I get to spend a lot of time with my mum, accompanying her during her OT, send and pick my mum to/from work, layan her all sort of requests, being my parents plus my grandma driver and fulfill all of their requests, as much as I can do. 

But, still, I need to revamp my study plan. I really need to pull myself together and make it to the finish line. It seems so flawless for everyone else, completing their masters degree, but for me, it is really a journey to get to know myself. I always pray that Allah will grant my wish to grad as a master student, amin...insya Allah. If you happen to read this, please make doa/prayer for me to grad as soon as possible ^^,

Update 7th Dec 2016
All my dreams to grad, vanish!
All my positive thoughts, gone!

2016

This post might be the last post for 2016. Even though there are still 20 more days to go before this year end, for me, I already meet the end of my life. Finally, I have not finish my long overdue Master. I am down, I am frustrated. Honestly I spent almost six years working on my Master. But it seems like I cant do it. Mostly because of the dissertation. Afraid of writing, to share piece of my thoughts, as if I feel my thoughts are not important. When I see my friends completed and graduated from their Master studies, I feel happy for them because I know the journey is tough and challenging. But, I am not happy for myself. I quit from my studies, after all the wee hours I spent to read and to assemble my assignments.

Dr. Mahathir once said, if you feel like quitting your study, take a look at how diligent your parents are; working to provide all your needs. I did. I swear I did. I try everything I can to ease them albeit of me not being so good daughter. I try to motivate myself, to coax myself and to push myself saying that if everyone else can do this, why can’t I. But definitely, unconsciously I have decided, I cant finish my study. How does it feels to let your parents down for two times? It sucks! It really makes me feel worthless T_T

1438 Hijrah

Assalamualaikum.
Kepada sesiapa yang tiba-tiba sampai ke blog ni ^^,

Dah lama tak menulis, bila dah dapat keyboard, semua idea macam rushing nak keluar, tapi dalam masa yang sama, macam tak pasti nak tulis apa sebenarnya. Hari ni dah masuk 1 Muharram 1438H. Tahun baru...seingat aku, dalam beberapa tahun kebelakangan ni, bila tiba awal Muharram je mesti hati rasa bercampur baur. Bukan apa, next year da masuk three series, tapi aku still takde apa2 dalam hidup ni. Rasa loser sangat. T_T

Insta AO

Aku ni memang kurang bijak agaknya, konon2 bijak, buat insta baru pastu berani2 tag AO dalam post insta ade ultraman sebab aku tau dia suka ultraman Sudahnya aku yang kantoi sendiri, kena block siap2 dengan AO T_T tapi macam pelik, apa kaitan Sakinah dengan AO ye...hurm...nak tanya tak mungkin la..obvious sangat nanti...hurm...

AO ni dengan students dia, baiknya alahai...sweet sangat, tapi bila dengan aku, garang macam singa, muka pun nak straight je. Cuba la mesra alam sikit. Ni, kalau cakap dengan AO, lepas cakap, mesti rasa menyesal nak hantuk kepala kat dinding pastu seret muka atas jalan tar sebab menyesal dan malu rasa bila dilayan endah tak endah je. T_T